Since the beginning of 2018, I’ve been doing my own thing, and I like it. I decided to spend less time with my normal tribe and spend more time with myself. Most of 2017, I found myself more enthralled with what was going on in the lives of my friends than what was going on in mine. I turned over a new leaf. I decided not busying myself with other people’s problems. My motto is, “Not My Monkey, Not My Tree!” Meaning other people’s issues is none of my business, and I can’t allow the things that disrupt my loved one's lives to disrupt mine. Besides, I want to do what I want without feeling the need to explain myself. I don’t feel like asking someone to go with me or do things with me and be disappointed when they say no. Nor do I want to go the emotional roller coaster of forcing my friends to do things they don't like. I thought it was just me until I recently had coffee with a friend, and she said she was experiencing the same thing. She stated she was in a new space and adjusting.
Pondering on her words, I thought to myself, “Could my mood be a sign of growing pains?” Could my funk honestly be explained with a simple explanation as, "Shit! I’m doing me." In reality, the latter statement is true. I am doing me, and I am not alone. My friends are all doing their own thing. Pursuing our own interests, getting to know ourselves, as my friend said adjusting.
As I adjust on my journey, I’m experiencing more peace. My head is not filled with other people's ideas. For the first time, I hearing my pure unadulterated thoughts, and I like what I am saying. For real yo, I am deep, simple, plain and creative. For this reason, I've fallen deeply in love with myself. For so long, I tried hard to convince others to fall in love with me even adjusting my hues to match their color scheme. Somewhere with all the adjustments, the beauty of my original picture got lost. I asked myself, "Where’s the color of my smile, the twinkle in my eye, and the glow in my laugh? Where is the girl filled with wonder & curiosity? What is wrong with my original picture? Why did I put on so many filters to please others?"
I’ve learned a thing or two from diving into the world of design. In design, sometimes you have to trust your expertise more than wanting to please the customer. As a designer, you know if you make this one adjustment it would change the entire aesthetics of the design, and the message will get lost. In these times you tell the client, "I got this. Trust me. I know what I am doing." With your expert eye, you begin to peel back the layers, remove the unnecessary bells and whistles. You make the design clean, modern, and simple. The design turns out perfect. The client is pleased, and you are pleased.
My journey has caused my to awaken to a new frame of mind. I realize I am the designer of my life, and I know what is best for me. It’s time for me to trust in my own expertise. Right now in this season, I am creating, discovering & exploring. I’m not acting funny. I am adjusting to my new normal. My new normal is causing me to be quiet, to write more, to take breaks, to view things from a different perspective and enjoy the moment.
Are you experiencing a new normal? What are somethings you have learn by spending more time by yourself?